All Dressed Up. Nowhere to Go.

This time of year being what it is my email inbox gets flooded with newsletters of various recipes for holiday cooking, baking, decorating, et al.  To the point that I get overwhelemed, and start to rebel against all of it.  I’ll make a few of my tried and true favourites instead, and try to politely sidestep the new “twists” on old classics.  Usually it involves somehow incorporating anise or chipotle into something.

As part of my rebellion, I’m choosing not to post a recipe this week.  I AM overwhelmed by all the holiday recipes, and even though I have a few dishes made, photographed and waiting in the wings for posting, they’re not entirely festive.  Besides, I'm sure you already have your own favourites ready to go, as well as the more volatile, stress-inducing holiday experiments you're about to unleash on friends and family.

I want to somewhat embrace the essence of the season, but without resorting to gingerbread, anise-scented hams, or quirky shortbread variations which might be better suited for skeet shooting.

Our home is devoid of Christmas decorations this year.  Not from any sort of Scroogieness, but if last year can be viewed as an experiment, then it’s safe to say that to decorate again would be plain stupid. 

One of our cats does not deal with change well, and as such proceeds to puke and poop in all places but the litter box.

Another one LOVED the Christmas tree, and proceeded to assimilate it into her already high-energy gymnastics antics.  Bulbs were smashed, the tree itself toppled, and the angel at the top suddenly seemed to have a pleading look on her face like a Jane Doe from Law and Order SVU.

The Christmas cards have found their place strung along the mantel, but there is no garland to accentuate their papery greetings.  Two words: tinsel shit.

The other cat generally adapts, but ends up with her usual sleeping places usurped, and instead finds new territory to spread the shed.  I wore out two lint rollers last year.

I feel bad not having decorations up.  Not that I’m generally one of the most “Spirit of the Season” individuals, with a Santa hat, ugly-battery-powered-flashing reindeer vest, and omnipresent cup of egg nog.  I am however, something of a stickler for tradition(s) and a certain sense of decorum.  I worry this is dying, and I fear my non-participation contributes to its slow death.

One need only glance on the street and see the number of people sporting track pants and yoga gear as day wear to observe the swan-dive into mannerless oblivion taking place all around us.

I can’t help but get a certain twinge of longing when watching certain TV shows (ie: Masterpiece Theatre) where the people would dress up for dinner IN THEIR OWN HOME!

This wasn’t because company was over. 

It wasn’t even necessarily because it was a particularly special occasion. 

It was just because that was what you did. 

It was proper. 

It was an observation of respect.

Is being all dressed up with nowhere to go such a bad thing?

So this year, Dear Reader, in an aim to placate the nagging guilt (which inevitably comes from my mother), I encourage us all to wear the season.  Whether in the form of full proper dress-up, or absurd sweater.  Whether for a quiet dinner with a loved one, a full barrage of family, or reheated frozen lasagne for one. I personally won’t be heading out to buy batteries to power-up some insipid Rudolph hat’s nose, however. 

I wish you all the best over these next few weeks, whatever you choose to celebrate, or even if you don’t.

Oh, and if you DO choose to wear yoga pants while eating dinner in front of the TV, at least be watching Masterpiece Theatre.

Update: A confession of sorts.  I did end up embracing a certain aspect of Christmas tackiness, but in the best way ever.  This was my Christmas Day shirt: 

Jealous?  You know you are.  But you don't need to be.  Check out Tees.ca for tonnes of brilliant and fun shirts for holidays and otherwise!

Grabbing Life by the Grapes (and Sausage)

“Ask and ye shall receive”

Or procrastinate long enough and something close to your initial request is likely to show up.

The latter was clearly the case today.  I was about to put an appeal out to you good people to suggest something different to try for dinner tonight, when I got an email from my cousin on Prince Edward Island recommending this recipe.  Roasted sausages with grapes.

I can already sense the raised eyebrows, and lips puckered in a sneer akin to “is that poo on my lip?!”  There are some meat purists out there who insist that fruit and meat should never cross paths.  They will never know the joy of prosciutto-wrapped cantaloupe, or salami and figs, and most likely, they’ve stopped reading by now because they’re unwilling to try sausage with grapes.

There is a glimmer of hope, though.  An enticement, if you will.  Now, my cousin is married to a lovely fellow who is a born and raised potato farmer, and is about as meat-and-potatoes of an individual as you could ever hope to meet. The fact that this recipe survived the trial, and his spud-insistent palate is all the proof I require to allow this meal through to the next round.

Congratulations, Sausage with Grapes, you’re still in the running towards becoming my Next Experimental Dinner.

Now, I feel the need to disclose that although I served it as a main dish, I think it’s probably better suited to being a party food.  Served on a plate, hot and sizzling, with toothpicks to harpoon the sausages and grapes with, and maybe some sort of gorgeous bread alongside for mopping up the juices. 

5 Italian sausages

2 cups seedless grapes (stems removed… obviously)

2-3 Tbsp butter or oil

4-6 Tbsp red wine

¼ - ½ tsp hot paprika or cayenne (optional)

1 tsp dried savory or oregano (optional)

3 Tbsp balsamic vinegar

Preheat oven to 450°

Start by pre-boiling the sausages for about 6 or 7 minutes, piercing the skins to let some of the fat out.

Heat oil (med-high heat) in a large roasting pan or Dutch oven on the stovetop.  Add the grapes and stir until coated with the oil.  Add red wine, paprika and savory, stirring until the liquid is reduced by half.

Remove sausages from water, and cut into rounds of equal length to the diameter of the sausage (*note: you could just leave them whole, but I like to increase the surface area to be browned up in the oven). 

Add sausage to grapes and mix thoroughly.  You may add a bit more red wine at this point if you want.

Pop into oven, and roast for about 25 minutes, stirring on occasion for even browning of the sausage.

Place roasting pan back on to stovetop, and (over med-high heat) add balsamic vinegar.  Stir until vinegar reduces slightly and juices thicken into a syrup.

Pour onto a platter and serve.

As I mentioned up top, I'm uncertain what to pair this with to serve it as a main course.  I'm totally open to suggestions, though.  This dish was too good to be relegated to the land of novelty, but just far enough off the beaten path to confuse me.  Ideas, anyone?

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Give Me Banana Bread or Give Me Death

...although I'd prefer the bread.

In fact, I've chosen banana bread over death in the past.

Apparently the best banana bread to be had is available from Julia's Best Banana Bread on Maui in a tiny village off one of the most perilous and nerve-wracking stretches of road anywhere in the world.  We got surprisingly close to the village once, but the final stretch of road before getting there raised enough red flags to get us to turn back.  A narrow, one-lane road, with blind hair-pin turns along the edge of a cliff with a sheer drop-off on one side, and a soaring rock wall on the other.  The VW at the bottom of the cliff sitting as an explicit testament to the potential severity of the situation.  Since we were in a rental car we figured it may be most prudent to actually be able to return the vehicle.

Still Julia's beckons.  One day, little bread, one day...

In the meanwhile, in my quest to get as close to the best loaf possible without risking life or violation of an automobile rental contract, I stumbled across this blog.  The recipe seemed simple enough, boasts as being "the best banana bread ever" (Hear that?  EVER!!!), so I gave it a whirl.

I don't doubt the superiority of Julia's bread, but until I have tangible proof, I have to say this stuff is currently sitting in first place.

Still curious?  I direct you now to the Foodess for what I'm titling "Possibly the best banana bread ever but then again I've valued my life over adventure in the past and haven't tried Julia's yet".  You may amend the title as you see fit.

www.foodess.com/2010/09/the-best-banana-bread-ever/